All Rise

All Rise

The grief I’d know if I

lived into

your unthinkable death...

            During a Son’s Dangerous Illness

            Denise Levertov

I thought: the thing I"ll miss the most

            is sky because all around you

            will be brick and wire and blades

I thought: the thing I'll miss the least

            is dirt because all around me

            is rock and solid clay

I thought: if I have to if I have to

I thought: if I have to?  If I have to what?

            if I have to.

I thought: small spots I thought small

            breaths I thought blue I thought

            dirt

I thought my feet are numb I can't fee
            my feet even the mosquito 
            even my blood

I thought: when’s the jury coming back I need...