Wednesday, March 1, 2017

the lie: after her beating

the lie: after her beating

Not a drop of blood falls, there isn’t a sign that each bird
had two wings once that carried

loving hearts from this place here to that place over there...
Now that place doesn’t exist any more.
Like something lost in a dream.  God’s word has cut off a wing
and He has sealed the place of cutting.
                                                                                Uri Zvi Greenberg
                                                                                “Amputation of the Wing”

stepping in
                it wasn’t
                                the smell
                                                of brimstone hell, that’s              
                                                                become cliché
                                                                               
hell I’d never’ve
                known what it was
                                so, I don’t
                                                know, so
                                                                coagulated, so
practically
fragrant so
                                slippery but
                                                I’d never
                                                                been to a
killing floor
                before
                                never
                                                thought lambs
                                                                came in
in coats like
                me
                                in shoes
                                                like me
                                                                and socks.
Talk stopped.
                It was talk
                                like that,
                                                that was
                                                                her mallet
down on
                my skull
                                her lie, how
                                                coming off
                                                                surgery
she’d eased
                her way
                                into back-
                                                stage
                                                                the way
a rapist
                at the drapes
                                takes the
                                                velvet
                                                                to his
face the way
                it folds
                                along the
                                                throat
                                                                choked
hold
                her lie didn’t
                                even grope
                                                didn’t need
                                                                me at all
                                                                                see

Once she
                framed
                                the house
                                                then broke
                                                                every glass
                                                                                pane
walking
                through
                                to her
                                                cut like
                                                                kite strings,
                                                                                like
the end
of believing,
                                like truth fled
                                                the room
                                                                with her
                                                                                head
in her hands
                like her
                                spleen, in
                                                some dish some
                                                                soup to be
                                                                                incinerated


when the fire’s
                got up
                                beneath us
                                                quick as that
                                                                sulfur
                                                                                when getting
away with
                it, the fire
                                I mean,
                                                right? 
                                                                the fire
                                                                                is hell’s
light and by
                this time
                                I’m burned
                                                loose by it
                                                                blistering
                                                                                coming on
so come on
                let’s settle
                                this, let’s get
                                                this up, here’s
                                                                how it came
                                                                                out: she
said
                I said
                                (I never
                                                but
                                                                whatever)
                                                                                a man
and his
                son
                                came in
                                                and took  
                                                                and beat
                                                                                her
(exact
                words)
                                beat
                                                the piss
                                                                out
                                                                                of
her
                and that
                                man
                                                that
                                                                son
                                                                                was
(she said
                I said)
                                it was
                                                our
                                                                father
                                                                                and
brother
                and that
                                was enough
                                                of a lie
                                                                to bind
                                                                                the rest
of this
                life
                                with her
                                                with my mother
                                                                me a Samson
                                                                                shaved
my sister
                a Delilah
                                holding
                                                the blade
                                                                and some
                                                                                whiff
of blood
                slippery
                                at first
                                                to step on
                                                                to manage
                                                                                getting
up and
                out
                                and build a life
                                                after she, my mother
                                                                said you are
                                                                                dead to me

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